I was raised in a Catholic family and every Sunday, the sole reason of going to church was going to Jollibee after the mass. I never did understand anything of the priests’ sermons. Today, I am attending Sunday service in a Christian-Pentecostal church. The monotonous howling of the priest was replaced by the rallying shout of a pastor; the somber mantra I grew hatred with was thankfully changed into something I can actually sing. I can say that I was fairly active in our church for a couple of years (attending prayer meeting, bible study, involving in ministries, medical mission etc...) but the environment I am into and the people I am acquainted with has changed my view about religion drastically. I have enumerated the reason of why such agnostic title below and before you prejudge me, read through and look into yourself…
• I believe in God but I don’t understand why He is the father, the son, and the Holy spirit at the same time. Jesus can’t pray to the Father if He is the Father too.
• God should have never sent His son to earth to be crucified and blame mankind for such, He is God! He can do anything and He made the rules which I personally think is too much for erroneous human to handle. I now know that not everyone is capable of being kind.
• He should have anticipated that His favorite angel is a growing devil so hell doesn’t have to exist.
• He should have made that damn tree invisible so Grandma Eve and Grandpa Adam won’t be tempted and we can live in paradise now up to eternity. And so people don’t have to do stuffs to be rewarded during the second coming. It’s making me anxious coz I never really did anything significant to the church.
• God should have never supported killing people back in the old times because that is some religious groups’ excuse in killing each other and of their brothers of different faith.
• Job’s life can never be the same with his whole family gone no matter how much he has in the “second part” of his life. People should never be tested like this, its not fair!
• No, I won’t miss a Christmas party at home just so I can attend in the church’s party.
• No, I won’t ever ditch my dinner with my girlfriends over a bible study I have already heard of.
• No, I don’t force people. So if I cant invite friends in church, that is because they have their own church to attend to and others are just purely uninterested.
• No, I can’t and I don’t want to be in church every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. I have a life to live but I love hearing my pastor preach every Sunday, it freshens me up after the long week.
• I’m naturally curious so don’t try to stop me from tasting alcohol, going to clubs, or finishing a stick of cigarette. I promise I won’t be obsessed to this stuffs, I just want to do it just because…
• I know I should obey my parents but isn’t 9 pm a bit too early?
• No, I don’t have the talent of talking to strangers. So unless the topic is of my concern, I won’t be talking to everybody in church for the customary hi, hello, send my regards to your parents crap.
• I’m not friendly, and I’m still shy so don’t expect me to mingle. and NO! i don't think the world is hell and that people in it are naturally evil! some are really good, even better than some self-proclaimed christians. And isn't it a bit too much for people to go to hell just because they believe in another Supreme Being who is their own definition of our own God?
• I believe in giving but I think 10% is too much. Anyway, I like it when I give with a happy heart so don’t push it!
• I wear sleeveless when the weather is hot, a bathing suit when I go on swimming, and I do get curious with my own body but I don’t lust over it and the closer I get to having sex is determining where my vagina and clitoris is and inserting urinary catheters.
• I have read FHM for the sake of it and not for masturbation, and we gush over abs, hot guys, and bad boys but no, I still want MY guy to be good.
• I know I’m a good person but not too good to tell people what they should do. So don’t let me preach!
Author’s note: these are the things that have been bugging me since time immemorial and I know what the answer is... FAITH. And unless you’re God, don’t point your dirty, unpolished fingers on me... but you’re very welcome to leave comments of course… just be more gentle than you ought to be.
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