Secrets unveiled

My faculty is like that of a child
I express amusement for reasons I alone can comprehend
My happiness is sincere, simple sycophancy,
I should give some I know, but I seldom do so.

I haven’t been truly inlove
Infatuated maybe, but never inlove….
And for that, I plead for that one person
To treat my heart with utmost regard.

I fall for guys falling inlove with
bad girls who love good boys
Liking good girls
Who look for dire, awkward situations…

I’m trying to be good
But the job drains my soul,
It exhausts all energy my frail body can sustain
And all other grounds seem insignificant

I desire for freedom
Just as much as I want consistency
No matter how much I struggle,
I find myself imprisoned by my own person

Never have I been truly happy with myself
Although I exude otherwise
It temporarily assuages solitude,
It creates a comfortable environment however false it is….

I have since been disillusioned
Of love, of life, of people
But I cling to the idea of finding happiness
So until I find it, I will keep on hoping and someday… I won’t be a child anymore.