for my parents

I thought that I can do anything come after grad
Sleep overs, vacations, or even just a trip to Samal.
I have planned to go to Bohol
but you said no, I have to comply,
I wasn't gonna ask for your money
I have mine on my own.
I thought you would finally allow me to wind up
And feel life while I'm young,
I'm not going to any clubs to puff a cigarette or get drunk,
Just the company of some old friends is enough.
Ask them.
I thought you'd be happy I found friends who go to church with me,
but you still dare to distrust them
thinking I'm going to church for an excuse not to go home.
I thought that by doing everything you want, I can get some trust
but all I get is more suspicion and doubt.
You have no idea how thrifty I am in school,
How I save even the last cent just to maximize our budget.
My only consolation for saving so much
are trips to fast foods alone after running your errands.
I thought the perfect place for courtship is at home
but what "other people" say is more important than me.
He is the safest guy for me believe me
If you're thinking about sex.
You raised me up yourselves, you think I am capable of doing that?
I will never get that low.
And I thought both of you should know.
I thought that if I have proven myself reliable with chores
You would commend my effort
But you still dare to shout and give me cold shoulders should there be delays on your commands.
Can I just sit still at home and do nothing?
Or is it so hard for you to see me doing that,
while you spit to my face how tired you are at work everyday?
I never forget how hard you work for us, but you chose to go together
And left us with the maid.
You think I can do everything you ask of me?
You must know.. I CAN'T
I have responsibilities on my own
problems I should solve
friendship I must cultivate
And self i should hone
But I never said a word...
I never complained how hard it is to be the parent at home
How Shobe shouts at me if I displease her
How hard I try to reach out to Chino
And wake them up every Sunday to go to church.
You never saw me cook for them at 6 am after a 3-11 duty
Not even when I get scolded why dinner is not yet served after my CP at school
You never saw me with a 20 peso bill on my pocket in school
because i gave it all to my siblings who need it for projects
I envy my classmates who's parents I see in school
helping in their paper works and attending important events
But I seek consolation to the fact that this will make me tough
Independent as I should be.
And I thought you will finally see me as that.
Capable of discerning
Responsible in my own ways
But I thought wrong.
You have planned my life as if I'm your own little doll
As if I don't have a mind and a heart on my own
As if I'm born to serve you.
Push me.
I swear I'll give everything up should you try my patience again
I lived my life trying to please you
Now, I will live it to please myself instead.
Tell me what I have done wrong
I will tell you what I have done to be always right.